FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
CONTACT: Amit Itelman
The Steve Allen Theater presents
CUT THE CRAP!
“Words can barely describe the laugh-till-you-stain-yourself
genius of Clam Lynch, a talent so huge it would take the combined
DNA of Andy Kaufman, Lenny Bruce, and Buster Keaton to reconstruct
so much as his frontal lobe. Clam is the voice of all our happy
nightmares and quite possibly the funniest man alive.”-Jerry
Stahl, author of Permanent Midnight, Plainclothes
Naked, and I, Fatty: A Novel.
“Clam Lynch raises absurdity to an art form, silliness to
a science, goofy to genius.”
-Tom Murrin, performance editor, Paper Magazine
Track 16 Gallery is pleased to announce the !EXTENDED!
theatrical run of CLAM LYNCH CUT THE CRAP! written and performed
by Clam Lynch and directed by Russell Bates. Cut the Crap! continues
EVERY WEDNESDAY IN JULY (6, 13, 20 & 27) at 8:00 P.M. at the
STEVE ALLEN THEATER, (at the Center for Inquiry-West) located at
4773 Hollywood Boulevard (at Berendo) in Los Angeles. To reserve
tickets, please call the Steve Allen Theater at the Center for
Inquiry-West at (323) 960-7785, or visit www.plays411.com. Ticket
price is $10.
Cut The Crap!™
Written and performed by Clam Lynch
Executive Producer, Tom Patchett
Producer, Amit Itelman
Visual Aid, Young Produce
Do you want to change your life, but you don’t know where
to begin? Are you ready to realize your own “special specialness”?
Is it time to set achievable goals (like getting out of bed, for
Clam® is here and ready to lead you on this important journey.
Clam Lynch has teamed up with acclaimed director Russell Bates
to help you make enormous strides in personal growth and self-discovery
without any of the annoying pain and hard work.
Whether you’ve been sleeping under a bridge downtown or
in the back seat of your Mercedes S350, Clam understands your situation,
and he’s an authority on relieving the burden of excess cash
overflow. Or underflow! Or whatever!
Clam focuses on results. So you don’t have a home, a car,
a job? Get one! It’s as simple as that. Well, no it isn’t,
really, because then you wouldn’t need this seminar. And
you do need this seminar! You need to get down here and learn about
practicing Happy Joy Bottom and Eating
Clam wants to help you, so that you can help Clam help you help
Clam’s dynamic program is going to get you out of the trunk
and into the driver’s seat on the highway to success.
Clam is 58% sure that this seminar will in all likelihood change
You’re already working the program. You’ve taken the
first step toward the door. But the door is locked, and Clam has
the key. And also the code to the alarm.
If you want more money, better relationships, and healthier health,
come to Clam’s seminar. If you don’t want these things,
don’t come. That’s the power of choice that Clam is
ready to unleash for you. And that’s got to be worth something,
For additional information, please refer to www.clamlynch.com
Clam began his performance career in 1990 with Theatre Carnival,
a local phenomenon that combined gigantic cardboard props, indescribably
gross costumes, and sampled children’s music into a chaotic
explosion of fake fur, absurd visuals, noise, and very bad taste.
They performed at local club venues opening for such rock bands
as L7, Pearl Jam, Celebrity Skin, Ethel Meatplow among others.
In 1992, Torture Chorus, an offshoot of Theatre Carnival, presented
at the Tokyo Theater Festival and continued a tour of four major
Japanese cities with local noise bands. The tour was documented
in Aaron Osbourne’s film Noise Sushi. That same
year, Clam, along with Johanna Went, Tom Murrin and Stephen Holman,
formed Bigg Mess, a no-rules performance art troupe messing up
The Kitchen in New York for a four week run.
In addition to his performance work, Clam (with Stephen Holman)
developed, designed, and acted in two children's television shows: Life
with Loopy and The Shrimpskins for Nickelodeon.
Clam has written and performed numerous solo shows, most recently
the continually evolving Cut The Crap, which ran
for a series of sold-out performances at Track 16 Gallery in Santa
Monica. He also created Out of the Asses, a one-man show
in the annual Flophouse series of performance at Crazy Space, Los
Angeles; a run of Saving Private Dancer at the Tamarind
Theater and the HBO Workspace; and Happy City, a presentation
for the USA Network.
Russell Bates, Director
Russell Bates' music video career began with Sub
Pop Records, the label famous for launching Nirvana, Soundgarden
and other Seattle rock legends. There he directed videos
for many of the area's up and coming artists including The Spinanes,
Sebadoh, Mark Lanegan, Everclear and Sunny Day Real Estate. After
co-directing the independent feature "Sheila And The Brainstem" at
UCLA film school in the early '90s, he joined MTV as a segment
director/editor on shows like The Big Picture, MTV
Sports, the MTV
Video Music Awards and the MTV Movie Awards. His
annual directorial work for the VH1 Fashion Awards includes the
two satiric short films starring Ben Stiller as a fictional male
model named Derek Zoolander (later developed as a feature film
vehicle for Stiller) and a ridiculous parody of a fashion photographer
named Bruce Testones. His numerous MTV Movie Awards short
films include “Armagedd’NSync” (featuring ‘NSync
and Lisa Kudrow) and a spoof on the movie “Castaway”,
featuring Andy Dick. Russell most recently directed short films
for Comedy Central’s Last Laugh 2004